Lucia’s Outline

Nozomi’s Outline

Tamaki’s Outline

Hang’s Outline


8 Responses to Globalization

  1. tamaki says:

    [Globalization 1st essay]
    Focus: Clarification

    1) When traditions encounter the wave of globalization, their reactions are categorized into pieces of a changing spectrum.

    2) Four cultural traditional concerns over the world are classified as different points in the spectrum
    > a) (Tolerable)
    > > The Coca-Colafication on the Pacific islander
    > b) (Less tolerable)
    > > The McDonaldization on Chinese children
    > c) (Less intolerable)
    > > The Starbucks for Italian coffee drinking habits
    > d) (Intolerable)
    > > Germany society against Turkish immigrants

    3) Whereas each tradition is forced to decide its attitude towards outside, each individual is also forced to decide his/her attitude.

  2. tamaki says:

    To Hang,

    Your essay seems to have a focus of argumentativeness on Globalization, because “positive” aspects show your recommendable opinion while “negative” ones illustrate your suggestion of something non-recommendable.
    So now, I can see four supporting points (sub topics).

    Given that I have a chance to rearrange them, first I would decide a pattern of the argument: Block pattern or point-by-point pattern.

    In the block pattern, your “negative” evidences are mentioned first two paragraphs (food problems on local culture, and threats to traditions). Thereafter, you can put your “positive” evidences into following paragraphs (healthcare technology save human, and problem-solving education utilize for a similar case in different countries and areas).

    On the other hand, you may discuss each issue in sentence by sentence, which refers to the point-by-point pattern. For instance, “negative” and “positive” statements about the issue of McDonaldization comprise the first two paragraphs (accelerating people’s obesity, and kid’s food consumption practice in China). In the following paragraph, Starbucks’s contentious points can be written (changing Italy people’s habits of drinking coffee, and increasing the availability of Seattle- made products everywhere on the world).

    Sorry Hang, I wrote too much… Have fun!!

  3. Nozomi says:

    To Lucia, I like your idea. We discussed about them lots of and the cause-effect is very interesting topic in Globalization. But, I think its better to have a little more argument about it. I would like to know whether you think these cause/effect are positive or negative perspectives in your paper.

    Thank you for reading 🙂
    See you tomorrow !!

  4. help2013rick says:

    Hi guys,

    I’ve looked through everyones outlines and I have a few things to suggest:

    • Always make sure that your outline has a complete thesis statement and/or complete research question with answers.

    • Many of you are missing evidence ideas, and information/ideas about how evidence will be integrated into your papers.

    • Also, in general, these outlines need to show more planning and thought. When outlines are fully constructed and complete, the papers are much more easier to write.

    However, your ideas are strong, and I can see that everyone is working hard and learning to organize academic papers. If some of you are making significant changes to your outlines while working on writing your papers, these changes signal a lack of proper planning during the focusing stage of writing (chapter 2 of our textbook). But don’t worry! It’s not so unusual when learning to write academic English papers. (^_^ )w

    Please come to meet with me if any of you have any questions.
    I want to help you as much as possible.

    Also, the expectations for our first submissions are not so great.
    Please don’t overdo your first submissions.

    You guys are doing very well !!!

    – RICK

  5. luciakye says:

    To Nozomi,
    Thanks for your opinion about my outline!!
    As I read your outline:
    You have categorized Globalization for four – Business, Marriage, adoption and Education.
    and I guess you are going to define each form and increasing numbers (or any kind of evidences).
    Where do you get those informations?
    they are not in the references, right?

    maybe I thought too much in frame of reference essay…..
    Keep up good works!!!

    and I ‘ll see you on Wed.
    Could you tell Rick that I would come back to class on Wed?

  6. help2013rick says:

    I forgot one thing!

    Don’t forget the importance of FOCUS !
    Compare/Contrast, Cause/Effect, Definition, Classification, Problem/Solution, Process, Argument, etc…

    Choosing a focus (or 2 focuses) helps us to focus our rereading, note-taking, and note-analyses.

    Knowing our focus helps us to write a strong thesis statement, and it helps us to construct strong supporting points.

    – RICK

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